Thursday, September 21, 2017

Ready for Rosalie

+JMJ+

Somehow this pregnancy has managed to pass in the blink of an eye - even though some parts of it felt slower than molasses.... It's hard to wrap my head around the fact that we discovered Rosalie's prenatal diagnosis about 18 weeks ago. 18 weeks! These past 4.5 months have been quite a journey and now we find ourselves preparing for an even greater adventure in just a few days - life with Rosalie Elisabeth!

36 weeks pregnant (okay, 1 day before, but close enough!)

We learned awhile ago that the severity of Rosalie's hydrocephalus meant I would need a planned C-section at 37 weeks (as soon as she is considered full-term/not premature) so that she can have a shunt placed in her brain as soon as possible. Way back when we first learned of her hydrocephalus diagnosis we also learned that there is nothing to do about it during pregnancy - besides monitoring the swelling, hoping, praying, and arming ourselves with all the possible knowledge through various consultations with specialists, of course. Beyond that, we simply had to wait.

Well, we've waited. And waited (and kept ourselves busy preparing for what we can as we've moved forward). And here we are in the homestretch!

Rosalie Elisabeth will be born bright and early Monday morning on September 25th. Assuming a safe delivery, the plans for her first 24 hours of life include: having an MRI, meeting her big brothers, getting baptized, and having brain surgery to place a shunt (which will begin alleviating all the extra pressure her brain has been experiencing from the build-up of cerebral spinal fluid). I'll join her in the intensive care nursery as soon as I can get out of recovery, but thankfully Michael will be by her side right from the start.

Honestly, I'm probably a lot more anxious about everything than I've let on (or even allowed myself to previously admit to myself) because this final week has brought on a whirlwind of sudden, unforeseen emotions and 9-months-pregnant tears...but there are so many things that have also brought me great peace and joy along the way. 

Number one, your prayers have helped. I don't like to admit that I have struggled to pray about all of this as much as I feel I should have been praying all along...but there are many times I felt too drained to pray myself. Just knowing so many of you have been holding us in prayer has truly carried me through. 

Secondly, we have had wonderful, compassionate support - from medical professionals, our family, friends, and the fantastic people we've met through the Be Not Afraid ministry. I've been blessed with friends to cry with, talk with, celebrate Rosalie's life with, and I cannot believe the incredible tangible gifts people have given us - through watching our kids during medical appointments and/or showering us with thoughtful notes or gifts for our baby girl.

The final thing that has brought me a lot of peace and immense joy has been preparing our new house for Rosalie's arrival. I nested hard, acquiring and installing curtains, artwork, frames, & shelves in ALL of the kids' bedrooms, among many other things. Most especially, though, designing and arranging beautiful (girly!) decorations for Rosalie's room gave my heart something happy, lovely, and productive to focus on during all those months of waiting to meet her and start getting some more answers about how she may be impacted by the hydrocephalus.

Now, simply standing in the nursery is cathartic for me as I look around and see tangible signs of our love, prayers, and joy that we get to finally hold her soon. Naturally, I am happy to share a few pictures of the finished product with all of you:




I was super excited to support a few Catholic artisans when choosing artwork for all the kids' bedrooms and could not be happier with everything I ordered! Rosalie's room features a floral heart with a custom quote from JustLovePrints (above left) and a floral watercolor of North Carolina from FawnlyPrints (above right).


Did y'all know that Raleigh, North Carolina is called the City of Oaks? That fun fact led me to find some beautiful artwork on Etsy, including a print (above far right) that features the quote, "Mighty oaks from little acorns grow." I still can't get over how perfect that is for our little hydrocephalus warrior's nursery!


Months ago we began asking everyone to pray for Rosalie through the intercession of St. Gianna, Our Lady of Guadalupe, and St. Gerard, so it was really important to me that I display their pictures somewhere (see the little frames above). The bird print seen here is from yet another Catholic Etsy shop, WhenBeautyMetTruth.


And finally...her ever-increasing collection of headbands and bows. ;) Even more touching is the fact that a friend hand-painted that canvas featuring Rosalie's name and a verse from 1 Samuel. It was such a thoughtful gift I received at Rosalie's baby shower this past weekend and it matches her room's decor beautifully!

At this point, we've done all the "big" things and are simply tying off a few, small loose ends (like packing a hospital bag, getting myself a haircut and mani/pedi, & meeting the priest that will baptize Rosalie when I go for confession and the anointing of the sick in anticipation of my C-section). But realistically, we are so ready to meet you, baby Rosalie. 

To all our family and friends: if you would like to receive Rosalie's medical updates please make sure to get the link to her Caring Bridge site within the next few days (or reach out to my mom or someone else for that info if you're reading this when I'll be in the hospital).

As always, thank you for your continued prayers!

"Just when you think you know love, something little comes along to remind you just how big it really is."
-Anonymous

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Celebrating Life (with Professional Family Photos)

+JMJ+

In the past I never really wanted to get any professional photos taken during pregnancy. Sure, I would admire other people's sweet family/maternity photos, but somewhere deep inside there was a vain part of me that had no desire to spend money on images that highlighted me when I was anything but my "normal" self. Don't get me wrong - I have loved capturing "baby bump" images throughout all 3 of my pregnancies (as evidenced somewhat by this blog and largely by my private Instagram account)...but to actually invest money in maternity photos? No thanks.

But boy, did a prenatal diagnosis entirely change my thinking.

The first couple of days after our 18-week anatomy scan were emotionally tough and draining as my husband and I processed everything we had been told (and further researched) about our daughter's brain condition. Honestly, it wasn't until the afternoon of the 3rd day that Michael and I finally got to a good place as a couple; only once each of us had gone through 2 long days of our individual processes of handling the initial grief were we blessed to have a fruitful, beautiful conversation that ended with us being on the same page moving forward.

Before that afternoon conversation, though, we had Saturday morning plans to do a fun gender reveal for our kids - something we had been planning to do well before we discovered anything out of the ordinary.

As I made play dough and crafted a little volcano filled with baking soda and pink food dye the night before the gender reveal, I remember Michael questioning if I still wanted to do it for the boys as originally planned. By the time he asked me, though, I had already firmly resolved not to allow any tears, worries, or fears stop us from also celebrating all the good things we had to rejoice about. And man, oh man, was I excited to share the news with the boys about having a baby sister!

That resolution about pushing forward with the gender reveal and creating a happy family memory amidst Michael's and my own struggles with initial sadness or anger laid the foundation for how I would begin to approach the rest of this pregnancy.

Since that day I have found much peace in doing ALL the things I can to truly cherish this pregnancy (despite it looking and feeling unlike anything I could have imagined). I find myself constantly doing my best to intentionally live it to the fullest and be thankful for it - uncomfortable aches or pains and all. After all, we have been blessed with a daughter(!) - our Rosalie.

So, for the very first time during a pregnancy I truly wanted to get some professional family photos taken, despite the reality that I may feel uncomfortable or awkward. But, with all the other things we've had going on and budgeted for as we continue settling in our house and planning for Rosalie's arrival (landscaping, installing a fence, purchasing a van, just to name a few) I never would have dared to suggest out loud that we budget the time or money to have our photos taken.

Cue my friend, Giedre! She's an incredibly talented photographer that just relocated to North Carolina. She approached me about doing a family session to help build her local portfolio as she transitions her website from looking iconically "Chicago" to "Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill." Thank Goodness she thought of us, because it was just the push Michael and I needed to actually prioritize photos in the midst of everything else we've had going on.

And her photos are ones we will cherish for years to come. Here are some of my favorites:


Be...


still...


my...


heart!!!


Another perk of Giedre approaching me when she did was that we were able to do the photo shoot during my grandmother's recent visit! Getting some photos with her was an extra-special bonus.



Seriously, if you need a lifestyle portrait photographer in the Triangle area of NC check out Walking Dot Photography. Photographing 2 toddler boys is no easy feat, but Giedre managed to get some beautiful, honest images of our boys (and the entire family).


Truly, she captured Gabriel's (right) and Peter's (left) personalities in a single, sweet photo (above)!


Plus, she made sure the pregnant mama felt beautiful and loved with lots of kisses. ;)



I don't think Giedre had any idea just how much this photo session meant to me, but I'm immensely grateful she captured this precious time in our lives for us. Someday I hope to show these pictures to Rosalie - and she will see the love our family has for one another and how she was included in that love long before she was even born.


"For this child I prayed; and the Lord has granted me the petition that I made to him."

1 Samuel 1:27